What is the state of your relationship with your mother?
Has she always been there for you throughout your life as a mother should be — supporting, guiding, and loving you?
Were there times when she was not such a “super-hero mom” and was more like a human being, capable of making mistakes?
Perhaps, you even felt completely abandoned and neglected as a child?
Maybe you have a great relationship with your mother because you’ve already forgiven her or haven’t really ever felt the need to forgive her. That’s great! I suggest you reflect on the ways she has taught you forgiveness and then thank her for this powerful tool and gift.
Many of us may still have some forgiving to do in order to restore or build better relationships with our mothers.
Why not start this weekend, when we celebrate Mother’s Day in the U.S. and Canada?
In fact, Mother’s Day may be one of the most appropriate days to forgive and promote peace. Part of the historical roots of this holiday date back to the 1870’s with Julia Ward Howe’s call to Mothers for peace during the U.S. Civil War. Later, this initiative for reuniting families and neighbors in a divided, post-civil war country was taken up by Anna Reeves Jarvis.
What trials and obstacles has she had to overcome? Then ask yourself some questions from what you have learned. What did your mother learn (or not learn) about mothering from her own parents? How did that upbringing translate into her style of parenting with you? What past hurts might she still be carrying? You might be surprised at your own change of view towards your mother as you take into account the entirety of who she is and what she has gone through. Her faults and past hurts don’t excuse or take away any of the hurts given to you, but they do give a fuller perspective of who she is and why. And through forgiveness, you can come to see her first and foremost as your mother.