First, let me say that I admire your loyalty to your husband. You already are showing courage, patience, and forgiveness. I suspect that something happened in your husband’s childhood or adolescence to make him cringe when touched. He likely is classically conditioned to touch in this way. Was there physical abuse in his past? If so, he needs to uncover that and, if he is willing, to work on forgiving the person who damaged his ability to be close. I would start there–with the assumption of physical abuse in his past. Please be gentle as you bring this up because he may be in denial or have a lot of pain associated with the experience (if indeed it happened).