I try to separate the offense from the offender, but I am having a hard time doing that. Do you have some suggestions for me?

Not knowing the concrete details of your particular situation, it is not easy to answer this one.  Yet, here are some questions for you to consider:

  • Do you see the person only in terms of the injury against you?
  • Is there more to this person than those actions?
  • Can you see any examples of when he or she treated you well?
  • If you combine the injurious behavior and his or her good behaviors toward you, how are you seeing this person?
  • Is he or she more than those injurious behaviors toward you?
  • Who is this person when you see him or her more broadly like this?

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