A first key is knowing what forgiveness is and what it is not. You can find information about this on our website or in one of my books such as Forgiveness Is a Choice or The Forgiving Life. Another early key is to commit to doing no harm to the one who harmed you. This, as you might see, does not ask you to offer kindness or love toward the other. Instead, it asks you to refrain from the negative, from harming the person.