I would urge you to think about this bearing the pain as a paradox. A paradox looks to be a contradiction, but is not. In this case, the more you bear the pain and do so willingly, then you begin to stand in the pain. As you stand in the pain, then that pain begins to lift, a little at a time. Then, over time, the pain leaves. At that point you begin to realize just how strong you really are. You have taken the pain and have overcome it. Of course, in the case of the forgiveness process, bearing the pain does not occur in isolation but instead in the context of other units in that process.
For additional information, see Bearing the Pain.