Admired by Millions of People Around the World, Billy Graham was Ardent Forgiveness Advocate

The Washington Post, Montreat, NC – Just months away from his 100th birthday, William Franklin Graham Jr. (Billy Graham) died on Feb. 21 at his home in Montreat, NC.  An American evangelist known to millions around the world, Graham was buried beside his wife Ruth who died in 2007. His casket was made by inmates of the Louisiana State Penitentiary where Graham often ministered to death-row inmates.

As a preacher, Graham consistently espoused a message of patience, love, respect, and forgiveness of others. He hosted large indoor and outdoor rallies for more than 60 years that he called “crusades.”  Because of those crusades, Graham preached his message to more people in person than anyone in the history of Christianity.   According to his website, Graham preached to live audiences of 210 million people in more than 185 countries and territories. 


“In these days of guilt complexes, perhaps the most glorious word in the English language is FORGIVENESS.”   

 


Including radio and television broadcasts, Graham’s estimated lifetime audience tops 2.2 billion people world-wide. Graham was on Gallup’s list of most admired men 61 times, more than any man or woman in history. According to the book Billy Graham: American Pilgrim, “Billy Graham stands among the most influential Christian leaders of the twentieth century. He belongs on the Mount Rushmore of greatness in American religion.”

For Graham, an important and often repeated part of his message was that “we need to have patience with others and their shortcomings.  Don’t hold on to your bitterness and anger any longer — for they’ll become a poison to your soul.”

Here are some other forgiveness quotes made famous by Graham:

  • “Forgiveness does not come easily to us, especially when someone we have trusted betrays our trust. And yet if we do not learn to forgive, we will discover that we can never really rebuild trust.”
  • “Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.”
  • “Every human being is under construction from conception to death.”
  • “Man has two great spiritual needs. One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness.”
Billy Graham (third from left) was spiritual adviser to 11 U.S. presidents from Harry S. Truman to Barack Obama. Here he is pictured with (from left) former presidents George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter. Graham’s son Franklin, stands beside his father.
Read more:

The New York Times – Billy Graham, 99, Dies; Pastor Filled Stadiums and Counseled Presidents; Feb. 21, 2018

The Washington Post – How an aging Billy Graham approached his own death; Feb. 21, 2018

The Washington PostHere are details for Billy Graham’s funeral: A viewing at the U.S. Capitol and a private service in N.C.; Feb. 22, 2018

NBC News – Billy Graham, evangelist pastor and counselor to presidents, dead at age 99; Feb. 21, 2018

Wikipedia – Billy Graham 

Four Eye-Opening Reasons Why You Should Watch the Rome Forgiveness Conference Videos

“The first-of-its-kind conference in Rome, Italy, explored what it means to forgive another person who has been unjust to you,” 
according to Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute. “Crucial ideas on how to help children and adolescents learn to forgive were presented by international experts in the field of forgiveness education.”
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If you were unable to attend the Rome Conference on Forgiveness in January (hosted by Dr. Robert Enright and the International Forgiveness Institute), here are four reasons you should watch the speaker videos that are now available free of charge on the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) website:
Reason #1: To learn the importance of forgiveness education.
Students at Hazelwood Integrated Primary School in Belfast.

Dr. Robert Enright, IFI founder, first discusses what forgiveness education is and its importance for children and adolescents. Click here to watch Dr. Enright’s presentation on “The Science of Forgiveness.”

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This is followed by a stirring presentation delivered by teacher Annette Shannon of the Holy Cross Primary School in Belfast, Northern Ireland–a school that experienced the effects of The Troubles in Northern Ireland in the early part of this century. Click here for Ms. Shannon’s presentation.
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You can also see the introduction to the conference by the Conference Master of Ceremonies, Fr. Robert Gahl, who is Professor of Philosophy, University of Santa Croce. Click here to watch and hear Fr. Gahl introduce the speakers.
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Reason #2: To hear the surprising declarations made by a high-ranking Iraqi official about forgiveness in Islam.
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The Iraqi Ambassador to the Vatican, Hon. Omer Ahmed Kerim Berzinji, said forgiveness plays a prominent role in his Muslim faith and that it is cited roughly 100 times in the Quran. (Click here to watch the opening part of his presentation, which includes a consecutive translation of his Arabic words. After this brief consecutive translation, the rest of the ambassador’s talk is in Arabic without the translation). The Hon. Berzinji expressed an interest in considering the implementation of forgiveness education in Iraq.

Reason #3: To hear for yourself the Orthodox Jewish speaker’s views on forgiveness.
Peta
Peta Pellach of the Elijah Interfaith Institute in Jerusalem gave an inspiring presentation of forgiveness in Judaism that is not to be missed. Click here to watch Ms. Pellach’s presentation.
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Reason #4: To hear for yourself the Christian speaker’s views on forgiveness.
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Monsignor Mariano Fazio, Vicar General of Opus Dei and a long-time personal friend of Pope Francis, discusses his views on forgiveness.  Click here to watch Msgr. Fazio’s presentation. Author of more than 20 books, Msgr. Fazio’s newest book is titled Pope Francis: Keys to His Thought.

        


We extend our thanks and appreciation to our  conference partner Forgive4Peace for helping us make it possible.

A True Story of Rape, Forgiveness and Reconciliation

If someone told you that a rape survivor was writing a book together with the man who raped her, you probably wouldn’t believe them.

But that’s exactly what Thordis Elva has done with her former high school boyfriend who raped her when she was barely 16-years-old after a school Christmas party in Elva’s hometown of Reykjavík, Iceland.

Her boyfriend was an 18-year-old exchange student from Australia, Tom Stranger, who said he felt entitled to have sex with Elva despite her being so drunk that people at the party had suggested they call an ambulance. Stranger instead took Elva to her own home where he spent two hours accosting her as she faded in and out of consciousness.

The crime was never reported.

Elva said that at the time she wasn’t clear as to what rape actually was and that Stranger had returned to Australia a few days later after ending the relationship.

“I hadn’t told anyone because I harbored shame and self blame for being drunk and not being in a situation where I was in control” Elva says. “That slowed down my ability to recover and fully face what had happened.”

The two went their separate ways after that sinister event until nine years later when Elva contacted  her rapist by email. Still struggling with the trauma of the rape, and “on the brink of a nervous breakdown,” Elva felt she needed to be eye-to-eye with her attacker in a bid to come to terms with what happened to her. And to her surprise, he replied with a confession and an offer of “whatever I can do.”

From that initial contact an extraordinary dialogue between rape victim and rapist started–beginning a raw, painful healing process documented in the book they co-authored South of Forgiveness: A True Story of Rape and Responsibility.

The book immediately became controversial not only because Stranger had actually raped Elva 16 years earlier and had only recently taken responsibility for it, but because Elva would eventually forgive herself and her attacker.

“It [forgiveness] is an extremely misunderstood concept,” according to Elva. “People somehow think you are giving the perpetrator something when you forgive, but in my view, it is the complete polar opposite.”

“Forgiving was for me so that I could let go of the self-blame and shame that I had wrongfully shouldered, that were corroding me and basically ruining my life.”

Creating additional controversy is the fact that the victim and the culprit are travelling the world together to discuss the very serious topic of rape.  Together, they gave a TED talk that summarized a 20-year long process, whereby Stranger eventually shouldered responsibility for his actions and the way those actions impacted their lives. It was viewed nearly 2 million times in the first week and more than 4.3 million times since being posted. You can watch their TED talk here. The TED talk was presented in San Francisco, CA for the TEDWomen 2016 conference.

Stranger, it should be noted, is not benefiting from his work with Elva.  “Any profits that I receive will be going towards a women’s’ charity in Reykjavík,” Stranger told an interviewer. “I realize how disrespectful and contemptuous it would be for me to benefit my bank balance or anything else.” 


South of Forgiveness is an  unprecedented  collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator, each equally committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives. It is a true story about being bent but not broken, of facing fear with courage, and of finding hope even in the most wounded of places. (Source: South of Forgiveness website)


Read more:
  Is forgiveness a virtue? – 
Malay Mail Online, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia
  Can I forgive the man who raped me? – The Observer/The Guardian, London, UK
  South of Forgiveness – Forgiving rape – IceNews, Reykjavik,
Iceland
  Rape victim and rapist reconcile, co-author a book and give talks – IceNews, Reykjavik, Iceland
  Could you forgive a rapist? A 17-year story of reconciliationAustralian Broadcasting Corporation, Australia
  Our story of rape and reconciliation  TED Talks (video: 19:07), New York, NY
  A Q&A with Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger
Ted Talks, New York, NY
  South of ForgivenessPromotional Website, Stockholm, Sweden


Please tell us what you think of this story, of the campaign being conducted by Elva and Stranger, and of Elva’s willingness and ability to forgive herself and her attacker. Could you forgive someone who raped you? Click on the “Leave a comment” button at the top of this story or use the “Leave a reply” box below to let us know what you think. Thank you. We appreciate your thoughts and your feedback.

 

Holocaust Survivor: “Let’s heal the world through forgiveness.”


Eva Kor (far right) and twin sister Miriam (front right) at the liberation of Auschwitz on Jan. 27, 1945

Those are the words of Eva Mozes Kor, a survivor of the Holocaust who, with her twin sister Miriam, was subjected to human experimentation under Josef Mengele at the Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Both of her parents and two older sisters died at the camp; only she and Miriam survived the near-starvation, illness, and other indignities of the camp.

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Eva has written an emotional blog, exclusively for the International Forgiveness Institute, entitled “My Forgiveness.” It begins with these words:
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“Forgiveness is a way of healing oneself from pain, trauma, and tragedy. It is a means of self-liberation and self-empowerment.”
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You can access Eva’s entire blog on the IFI website by clicking here.
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In one of her many interviews following her release, Eva told the anecdote of how she once sat in her room, imagining that Joseph Mengele was sitting right next to her. .

“I picked up a dictionary and wrote 20 nasty words, which I read clear and loud to that make-believe Mengele in the room. And in the end, I said: ‘In spite of all that, I forgive you.’ Made me feel very good, that I, the little guinea pig of 50 years, even had the power over the Angel of Death of Auschwitz.’ ” Source: The Vintage News
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Eva Kor’s recent video, produced by BuzzFeed, has drawn more than 5 million views on YouTube: I Survived The Holocaust Twin Experiments. 

New Documentary Focuses on Forgiveness, Restorative Justice, and Accountability

After the brutal slaying of her teenage son, Janet Connors reached out to her son’s killer to offer a chance for forgiveness. They soon teamed up with a group of mothers of murdered children to help young people in their community break the chain of violence and revenge.
That tale of forgiveness and healing is now a new, award-winning documentary film called Circle Up. It is a call to action for reframing approaches to crime and punishment through the lenses of
forgiveness, restorative justice, and accountability. Throughout, the film focuses on human dignity, violence prevention, and healing.
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 Now you have an opportunity to be one of the first in the country to see this gut-wrenching yet heartwarming documentary. A special screening is being held in Madison, WI on Saturday, March 10. Free admission.
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Circle Up
Documentary Screening
and Panel Discussion

Saturday, March 10, 2018
2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
Free Admission
Discovery Building 
UW-Madison Campus
330 N. Orchard St.
Madison, WI 53715

The 69-minute documentary film will be followed by Q&A with director, Julie Mallozzi, and a panel discussion with individuals working on or participating in restorative justice initiatives in the Madison area. This event is being hosted by Dane County TimeBank and is being co-sponsored by organizations that include the International Forgiveness Institute.

      Click here for more info about the film and to watch the trailer.


      Click here
for information on the Director’s Q&A and Panel Discussion.

Click here for a list of other screenings throughout the country.

“Forgiveness works and can change hearts!”

Editor’s Note: We asked a recent graduate of our Online Forgiveness Education Course to tell us about her experience with the IFI course, “Helping Clients Forgive.” Here is the response from life coach Emily Atallah:

Through my work as an existential logotherapeutic coach, I help people find meaning in everything in their life, including work, family relationships, and in situations where they face insurmountable suffering. I do this mainly by working with the power of forgiveness.

In my home country, Colombia, forgiveness seems like an impossible task for many. With a history of more than 60 years marked by war, drug trafficking and constant conflict, entire populations have now had to confront a hard question: will they forgive those who horribly hurt them even if they never asked for forgiveness?

This made me look for ways I could help those clients who had to leave their home behind, fearing for their safety, and who came to a city that in more than one occasion, receives them with a hostile environment and not much help. Many people with deep wounds derived from the conflict and a past of violence, resentment and vengeance.

As I looked for ways to help, I researched many therapies, but with time, I found them temporary or incomplete. I also looked into the initiatives of religious groups, and though they were having some admirable results, they did not appeal to non-believers.

Click on the graphic to learn more about this online CE Course.

Then I heard about the International Forgiveness Institute, and all their research on how forgiveness is a psychological matter, not only a religious one. I was personally impressed by their focus on forgiveness’ impact on psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, and others as measurable variables. For me, it meant that now we can present evidence that forgiveness works and can in fact change hearts!

Finding meaning and forgiveness in a life full of resentments is crucial to heal.  To see the offender as a human being and giving them what they deserve in dignity and love, changes your life and theirs.  It restores justice even without reconciliation.

Emily Atallah with her “Helping Clients Forgive” Certificate of Completion.

Forgiveness gives you a second chance for a meaningful and happy life, an opportunity to live a better, healthier, fulfilling life where people reach for their dreams without the weight of resentful thoughts.

As a life coach, I found particularly reassuring and helpful to learn that forgiveness has a measurable impact on the people I treat despite what the offense was. My time studying at the Forgiveness Institute gave me more tools to better treat my clients, to measure their progress and to encourage them to strive for a better and more meaningful life.

I encourage you to give yourself the opportunity to see forgiveness in a new light and learn about its healing power, by taking the online “Helping Clients Forgive” course through the International Forgiveness Institute.

Emily Atallah
Coach de Vida
e-mail: emilyatallah@gmail.com
http://www.emilyatallah.com